The Viewfinder Meetings
by J Unleashed
Summary: "A Snappy Viewfinder Meeting"- The men from Viewfinder reveal their thoughts and opinions on the latest chapter and... who HELL IS THAT who just walked through the door? *Contains spoilers from Ch. 53, released June 2015*
1. Chapter 1

_When I first wrote "A Rare Viewfinder Meeting" it was meant to be a one-off. I had no idea I would be continuing to write these. Had I known, I would've set it up to be multiple chapters. So starting now, this will be ongoing until..._

_Well, I don't want to think about that._

_Present at this meeting: Asami, Akihito, Kirishima, Suoh, Kuroda, Sudou, Sakazaki, Fei Long, Yoh, Tao, Mikhail (Recap from Chapter 48)_

* * *

**Viewfinder Meeting Wars- Episode IV: A New Hope**

**. .**

**. . . . .**

The men (and one boy) of Viewfinder slowly read the script from the latest chapter and then lay their copies down on the table.

Sudoh's eyes are downcast. A few at the table are glancing at each other and muffling giggles.

Kuroda has a very serious look on his face. He turns and looks at Sudoh for a full minute and then points at him. "HAAAA!" he breaks out laughing.

Sudoh glares at Kuroda. "You... public servant... PIG! It's YOUR fault that I got shot!"

"Shhh..." Kuroda is now laughing so hard he's gasping for air. "You... you're not supposed to be talking anymore!" He finally gets his laughter under control and composes himself... somewhat. "Okay, lay down and play dead."

"How dare you speak to me like I'm a dog!" Sudoh glares at him.

"Sudoh!" Asami gives Sudoh a sharp look, "Lay down."

Sudoh's eyes widen. He slowly lowers himself to the ground.

"Now... roll over."

"Wha-?"

Asami stares at him ominously, "Do it."

Sudoh reluctantly rolls over.

"Now... stay," Asami smirks.

Akihito turns to Kuroda, "Kuroda-san... umm, thank you for coming to my rescue."

Kuroda grimaces. "Well SOMEBODY had to save your ass... AGAIN. I guess I got to be the lucky one."

"Look, it's not MY fault this keeps happening!" Akihito protests.

"No?" Kuroda raises his eyebrows. "Whose fault is it? Sudoh, who you've been provoking since Chapter 38?! Mine? Or are you going to somehow blame it all on Ryuichi?"

"I really wish you'd stop calling him that," Akihito grumbles.

Sudoh sits up. "Yes! Don't you DARE speak his name!" he hisses.

"SHUT UP SUDOH!" both Akihito and Kuroda yell at him. Sudoh scowls and lies back down.

"Is that why you gave me such a pissy look back at the warehouse?" Akihito asks. "Because you felt you were forced to rescue me? You're in law enforcement. Isn't that... YOUR JOB?!"

"Oh yes, thanks for reminding me..." Kuroda pushes his glasses up. "Do you have any idea how much extra paperwork I'm going to have to fill out because of you? I don't think you're cute anymore... you're a royal pain in the ass!"

"Well... I think you're an anal retentive, ass-kissing... "

Asami pinches the bridge of his nose signifying that he's getting a headache. "That's enough, you two."

"Oh... sorry about that, Ryuichi," Kuroda apologizes, "but you really have me scratching my head with your choice of Takaba... oh, and with all due respect, also Sudoh. Wow, your judgement really tanked on that one!"

Fei Long smirks, "Are you surprised? Asami has always had bad taste in men. Sudoh, Akihito... "

"HEY!" Akihito glares at him.

"...that baby-faced Hong Kong cop... " Fei Long continues.

Akihito whips his head around to look at Asami. "Hong Kong cop... what does he mean by that?"

"He's just trying to get a reaction out of me. Don't worry about it," Asami assures him.

"Ohh..." Akihito looks relieved. "Okay."

"Besides," Asami smiles slightly, "that was a long time ago."

Akihito nearly chokes. "WHAT?!"

Kuroda smirks, "So... Asami has had another lover besides you. I bet that REALLY bothers you."

"I almost wish that it was YOU that had been shot," Akihito grumbles.

"But it wasn't... I'm still alive!" Kuroda gloats.

"Oh, go shove your paperwork up your ass," Akihito mutters. Akihito raises his voice, "The big question now is... who is the hooded man? I'm going to figure this out!"

Akihito stands up with a "take charge" attitude. "Okay, I'm going to split the room up into 'Definitely Not' and 'Suspect'. On the 'Definitely Not' side is me, Kuroda, and this dead body over here..."

"I'm not dead yet!" Sudoh angrily pops back up. "Maybe it's just a flesh wound."

"Sudoh, for the last time... lie down and shut up!" Akihito yells at him. Akihito resumes his speech. "Now... whoever it is, they're somewhat tall. Tao move over to 'Definitely Not'."

"It could be me!" Tao speaks up "I'm going through puberty and I could have a major growth spurt at any time now..."

"Yeah, yeah... sure," Akihito rolls his eyes. 'DEFINITELY NOT'!"

Tao sulks and moves.

"This man was also slender. Now I'll add Suoh to 'Definitely Not' for obvious reasons. Hmm... Sakazaki. Hey, it could be Sakazaki! Maybe he shaved."

Mikhail frowns. "You said this man was tall... "

"Stand up Sakazaki."

Sakazaki stands up.

Mikhail's eyes almost bug out. "Holy shit! He's huge!"

"Sakazaki, move over to 'Suspect'."

"My height is not the only thing of mine that's huge...eh, Takaba?" Sakazaki winks at Takaba.

Asami whips his head around to look at Takaba. "What does he mean by that, Akihito?"

Akihito looks away and turns an extraordinary shade of red. "Umm... no clue." He coughs to clear his voice. "Also to the 'Suspect' side... Fei Long, Yoh, Kirishima... "

"Excuse me?!" Kirishima interrupts, looking indignant.

"Yeah, you heard me! You can't fool me with that mild-mannered glasses guy look. Asami... sorry, you too."

"With pleasure," Asami smirks.

"That leaves Mikhail... "

Mikhail grins, "Oh yes! I'm gonna get manga time at last!"

"Not so fast..." Akihito shakes his head. "Unless the Creator came down with amnesia, you can't speak or understand Japanese,"

Mikhail smiles, then pulls out a copy of "Japanese For Dummies" and holds it up.

"Oh fine!" Akihito responds irritated. "Go stand in the middle. We'll make you... 'Probably Not'... THERE. Is that everybody? Is there anyone else you guys think it could be?'

"Maybe it's Yuri," Mikhail smirks.

Akihito gasps. "Bite your tongue!"

"Perhaps it is Yan," Fei Long says.

"Who the hell is Yan?" Akihito frowns.

"Yan was B.A. ..." Fei Long tells him. "'Before Akihito'."

Akihito snickers, "Heh heh... you sure B.A. doesn't stand for 'Big Ass'?"

Yoh looks at Akihito with a dead serious expression, "'Bad Apple'."

Fei Long scowls, "'Barbaric Asshole'."

Asami smirks, "'Bitchy Asshat'."

Kirishima whistles. "I think Asami wins this round."

Fei Long rolls his eyes. "You're just saying that because he's your boss."

Tao giggles. "'Burping Anus'!"

Suoh chuckles, "Heh heh... good one Tao!"

Akihito glares at Suoh.

Suoh looks back confused. "What? It was funny."

"Not that I want to interfere with your amazing crime solving techniques," Kuroda says sarcastically, "but you could just ASK Sudoh. I mean, he's right here."

Sudoh's voice comes from the floor. "Have you ever heard the saying, 'dead men don't talk'? Well... KISS MY WELL-MANICURED ASS!"

"No thank you," Kuroda smirks.

"He gets his ass manicured?!" Akihito raises his eyebrows. "I didn't even know that was a thing!"

Akihito notices that Asami is staring at his ass. Asami rubs his chin in deep thought, "Hmm... "

"Don't even THINK about it!" Akihito growls at Asami.

**. . . . . **

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* * *

_Acknowledgements: The Pythons  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_Present at this meeting: Asami, Akihito, Kuroda, Sudou, Fei Long, Sakazaki, Kirishima, Suoh, Yoh, Tao, and Mikhail. (Recap from Chapter 49)  
_

* * *

****A Bloody Viewfinder Meeting****

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**. . . . .**

The men (and one man-child) of Viewfinder are either sitting at the table playing on their phones, or pacing restlessly around the meeting room. Sudou is still lying on his back on the floor, looking extremely bored.

Kirishima comes rushing in. "Sorry this is so late! The copy machine was broken. It kept spitting out copies of what looked like someone's well-rounded bare ass sitting on the glass. I can't IMAGINE where that came from."

Akihito and Asami glance at each other. Akihito turns red and looks away quickly while Asami grins evilly.

"Anyway, here are the copies of the last chapter," Kirishima says, while handing out papers. "I'll give you a not-so-surprising spoiler: neither I nor Suoh are in it."

Suoh huffs in frustration and throws down his copy without bothering to read it. "Again?! There's been nothing for me in this whole arc, and yet THAT asshole..." Suoh points to Sakazaki, "manages to get himself a little piece of..." Suoh pauses and glances at Asami fearfully, "... plot."

Akihito also glances worriedly at Asami, but Asami is busy reading the manuscript. Everyone else, with the exception of Suoh, picks up their script and begins to read.

"You're wasting your time," Suoh nudges Tao, "you're not in it either."

Tao keeps his eyes on the paper. "Shut up. You don't know that. Besides I already got to star in my own extra, which is more than I can say about you!"

"You're such a little liar," Suoh scowls at him.

"Oh yeah? Ask Master Fei Long. He didn't even put up a fight when I pushed him down..." Tao smirks, " 'cause I was looking pretty hot...!"

Fei Long looks at Tao, flustered. "That NEVER happened. Besides you were 18... I mean it was A DREAM! I mean... it NEVER HAPPENED!"

Sakazaki smiles. "Ahh... the limited edition manga extra from Fei Long's novel, where Fei Long is tempted to nibble on that forbidden fruit sitting over there," Sakazaki says, pointing at Tao. "VERY rare. I happen to have a copy of it, if anyone is interested... for the right price, of course."

Fei Long puts his head down on the table. "My reputation is going to be ruined by this!"

"Heh... lusting after your teenage fosterling? I'd say it's beyond 'ruined'," Sakazaki smirks. "Besides, are you aware that YOU hold the record for having some form of sex with the most Viewfinder characters?"

"Fei Long does?! Oh, do tell!" Mikhail exclaims, looking interested.

"Well, first was Asami... handjob, was it? Then Yan slipped him the finger right after that..."

"He did NOT!" Fei Long exclaims indignantly.

"Didn't Yan..." Sakazaki gives a sarcastic cough, "examine your body to see if you had been violated by Asami?"

Fei Long stares at Sakazaki, wide-eyed and in shock. "How would you know about that?"

"I have low friends in high places," Sakazaki grins. "Then you played the seme with Takaba SEVERAL times in Hong Kong, before turning around and playing the uke with Yoh..."

"REALLY? Whoa! Way to go Yoh!" Akihito grins.

Yoh looks depressed. "I'm pretty sure it was just a pity fuck."

Fei Long smiles sadistically at Yoh and shrugs.

"So... counting his dream with Tao, that's... FIVE!" Sakazaki gloats.

"And you refuse to go to bed with ME?!" Mikhail gasps.

"FIVE?! It can't be five!" Fei Long counts silently on his fingers, shakes his head, and then counts again.

"And they call ME a slut..." Akihito smirks.

Fei Long glares at Akihito. "Well, Akihito... let's count yours then! Let's see... there's Asami... then you, doing it to YOURSELF... oh, and all those times with me... and just recently, Sak-"

"OH LOOKIT OVER THERE! Is that a rat?!" Akihito interrupts suddenly.

"I got shot?!" Kuroda suddenly blurts out, looking horrified at his script. "Somebody shot me!" He turns to Akihito and scowls. "This is all your fault, you nitwit!"

"HA!" Sudou laughs from the floor, still reading his script. "Welcome to the club... LOSER. Speaking of which, shouldn't YOU be lying on the floor about now?"

Kuroda ignores Sudou and turns to the last page. "Who would shoot me? I'm such a nice guy!"

"No, you're really not," Akihito mumbles quietly.

"I would definitely shoot you," Sudou replies gleefully.

"Shut up, you crotch stain!" Kuroda snaps testily at Sudou.

Asami raises his eyebrows appreciatively. "Crotch stain... that's a rather apt description of him. Not bad, Kuroda."

"Thank you, Ryuichi. By the way, why didn't you just save us all the trouble and just kill the shooter when you had the chance?"

Asami furrows his brow, as if trying to figure that one out himself. "That would be boring, wouldn't it? This way we can entertain ourselves by watching the inevitable catfights break out between the fans as they argue over who they think the shooter is."

Akihito walks over to Sudou and looks down at him. "All right you... SPILL IT. Who's the shooter?"

Sudou closes his eyes and smirks. "Aoki. She's really just a sweet transvestite."

"Yes, continue to be useless. Why would you change now?" Akihito walks away in disgust.

"It's Yan," Fei Long sighs.

Yoh shakes his head. "Yan's dead. I know this because I..."

"Yan's dead?!" Fei Long narrows his eyes at Yoh. "I don't recall ordering his death."

"Who said Yan was dead?" Yoh says, suddenly looking innocent. "Not me. I said, 'Yan's A DAD'. I was talking about..."

"SHH!" Fei Long hushes him, while covering a confused Tao's ears.

"It's Yuri," Mikhail announces confidently. "Trust me, I would know."

"Yuri's dead," Asami smirks. "I killed him."

"And how did you kill him?" Mikhail asks.

"I put a bullet through his eye."

"And which eye was that?" Mikhail prompts him further.

"His right eye," Asami replies.

"Remember when we met at the onsen?" Mikhail grins at Asami. "Where you, Fei, and Akihito had your threesome?"

Asami rolls his eyes. "That never happened. That was a fantasy wet dream for the fans."

"Well, in that so-called 'wet dream', Yuri had a patch over his right eye."

"So?" Asami says glaring at Mikhail.

"Look in the manuscript you have in your hand. Notice how you NEVER see the shooter's right eye?"

Asami leafs through the pages, frowning. He leafs through them again and growls, "God damn it! I didn't kill him?!"

"NO!" Akihito shakes his head violently. "I refuse to believe that man is still alive!"

"I don't know... sounds like a pretty solid argument to me," Sakazaki says, stroking his goatee. "Besides, aren't Kouyama's connections supposed to be from Eastern Europe? Who else could it be?"

"It's... it's... wait a minute," Akihito looks at Asami. "The shooter was about Asami's height and build... right?"

Asami gives Akihito an exasperated look. "You know it wasn't me."

"Wait, don't stop me until you've heard me out. The shooter is... Asami's evil twin brother!"

Asami frowns. "I don't have a twin brother."

"Yes! Yes, you do!" Akihito hysterically tries to convince him. "You two were separated at birth!"

"And besides," Fei Long smirks, "Asami already IS evil,"

"His... his EVIL-ER twin brother!" Akihito says in a panic.

"How long has it been since you two had sex?" Kuroda whispers to Asami.

"Not since Chapter 42... around the end of 2012," Asami sighs.

"Nearly 2 years. That's a long time..." Kuroda says, nodding.

Asami also nods, "That IS a long time." Asami stalks over to Akihito, grabs him, and throws him over his shoulder.

"Yuri's dead, right?! You never miss...!" Akihito says to him, with tears in his eyes.

"You can be sure I'm not going to miss THIS," Asami says, smacking Akihito's ass. "You and I are going home and having sex. Lots of it. We're going to do it for HOURS. Maybe even days..."

"Wait!" Kuroda tries to stop Asami before he can leave with Akihito. "I need to interrogate him before you take him!"

"Shouldn't you be interrogating that crotch stain over there on the floor?" Asami says, indicating toward Sudou.

"I guess," Kuroda sighs. "But it won't be nearly as much fun."

Mikhail sidles over to Fei Long and wiggles his eyebrows. "You little minx! Five different people, huh? You wanna make it six?"

**. . . . .  
**

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	3. Chapter 3

_Present at this meeting: Asami, Akihito, Kuroda, Sudou, Fei Long, Sakazaki, Kirishima, Suoh, Yoh, Tao, and Mikhail. (Recap for chapter 50)._

* * *

**An Indulgent Viewfinder Meeting**

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The men of Viewfinder file slowly into the meeting room. They are surprised to see the papers containing the next chapter already placed on the table in front of every chair. Kirishima and Suoh are already present and seated at the end of the table. They are playing some kind of card game.

"That was fast," Kuroda says somewhat impressed, as he takes his seat.

"It's a relatively simple chapter this time," Kirishima replies while studying his cards. "Do you have any sevens?" Kirishima asks Suoh.

Suoh growls and tosses two cards down in front of Kirishima. "Yeah, we're not in it. No surprise there. Neither is anyone else really, except for the boss and Takaba. You know what THAT means..." Suoh looks up at Kirishima. "Got any aces?"

Kirishima smirks. "Go fish." Suoh draws a card from the deck between them.

"There's sex? Some gratuitous smut hopefully?! FINALLY!" Sakazaki grabs his copy and eagerly begins to read it.

Most of the others eye their copies doubtfully. With a self-satisfied smirk, Asami picks his script up and begins to read. Takaba also picks his script up as he tries to keep his face expressionless, but it's obvious he's fighting to keep from smiling.

Mikhail shrugs, picks up his copy and begins to read it.

Fei Long looks down at his copy in disgust. "I see... it's one of THOSE chapters. I'll pass. It's pointless to subject myself to that garbage."

"There are a couple more hints as to the identity of the shooter in there..." Kirishima smirks at Suoh, "Give me all your jacks, Suoh... " Suoh sighs and tosses down two more cards.

There are also heavy sighs around the table as everyone, with the exception of Sudou, picks up their copies and begins to read.

Sakazaki glances up at Sudou. "You're not going to read yours?"

Sudou stares resentfully at his script. "Why would I? I already know who the shooter is and I'm not about to watch Asami debase himself with that... that..." he glares at Takaba spitefully, "VERMIN!"

"They're having a conversation about you..." Sakazaki grins as he continues to read his copy.

"A-are they...?" Sudou bites his lip before reaching out and snatching up his script.

Mikhail chuckles as he flips the page. " '...a tall man with a foreign accent'... Why be coy, Akihito? Just say it was Russian."

"I can't tell what kind of accent he had!" Akihito protests. "All European accents sound alike to me."

"You're in denial," Mikhail smirks. He begins to sing softly. "Yuri is coming to get you... Yuri is coming to get..." he stops suddenly when Asami looks up and begins glaring at him.

Fei Long tosses his copy aside. "Ugh... this is much too sugary for me! Really? This is what the cold-blooded killer Asami has turned into?!"

"You're just jealous," Akihito smiles as he reads. "This is FANTASTIC! I'm finally going to be the one protecting Asami's ass. I'm looking forward to this! Next thing you know, I'll be rescuing HIM from danger... tying HIM up... throwing HIM down on the bed and...!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Asami says rolling his eyes.

"I'm going to be sick!" Sudou groans as he throws down his script. He begins gagging.

"Got any jokers?" Suoh asks Kirishima.

"There aren't any jokers in the deck," Kirishima tells Suoh. He picks up a small trash bin and hands it to Suoh. "Here, pass this to Sudou. He's going to need it."

Sudou places his hand against his mouth, gets up, and quickly runs out of the room.

Sakazaki finishes reading and throws his copy down in disgust. "This is AWFUL! Where the hell is the PORN?!"

Kuroda finishes reading and puts his script down. "It was very sweet. In fact, my teeth kind of ache from reading it. But I found it interesting about the gun. Foreign-made, eh?"

"RUSSIAN! Just say Russian-made already!" Mikhail yells.

"Not to be disrespectful Ryuichi... but aren't you supposed to be an expert on guns?" Kuroda asks. "Why can't you identify it? Or at least look it up on Google?"

"I can't identify it because it's been modified," Asami frowns.

"For use by someone who only has ONE EYE!" Mikhail bellows.

Tao turns to Yoh. "I think the shooter was you. You must have a grudge against Akihito after all the trouble he's caused you."

Yoh shakes his head. "I wouldn't..."

"It's Yuri! YURI! Why can't you all see the OBVIOUS clues that are right in front of your nose?!" Mikhail bangs his head on the table in frustration.

Yoh whispers to Tao. "I bet it was that Kirishima... you know how in all those mystery stories, it's always the butler who did it?"

"I heard that!" Kirishima calls out. "It wasn't me. I don't have a foreign accent."

"It was a RUSSIAN accent!" Mikhail shouts.

"Your accent sounds foreign to me," Yoh shrugs at Kirishima.

"Hey, I never thought of that," Suoh chuckles. "I guess it would. Got any eights, Kirishima?"

Kirishima tosses down three cards. "HA!" Suoh exclaims triumphantly as he slides the cards in front of him and throws another eight on top. "NOW I'm winning!"

Sudou re-enters the room looking quite pale. He leans weakly against the wall.

Akihito cocks his thumb at Sudou. "What's going to happen to him?"

"He's going to jail," Kuroda replies in a stern voice.

"He's going to die," Kirishima replies as he frowns at his cards. "Fours?" he asks Suoh.

Suoh grins and shakes his head. "Go fish."

Kirishima huffs and draws a card.

"He and Takaba are going to bond like soul brothers," Sakazaki furrows his brow as he thinks, "and then Sudou will save Takaba from the shooter..."

"YURI!" Mikhail shrieks.

"... and in doing so he will sacrifice his life in place of Takaba's in the end," Sakazaki finishes.

"No freaking way!" Akihito snaps.

"No..." Sudou closes his eyes and whines, "Somebody just put me out of my misery now..."

There is the clicking sound of a hammer being pulled back on a gun, followed by several other similar clicking sounds. Sudou opens his eyes to see Asami, Kirishima, Suoh, Fei Long, Yoh, and Mikhail all pointing guns at him.

Sudou looks at them all in surprise.

"You know Sudou," Sakazaki smiles lecherously as he stalks toward Sudou, "I could come up with a better ending for you... if you know what I mean..."

Asami raises an eyebrow. "Even I'm not THAT cruel," he replies.

**. . . . . **

**. .**

* * *

_Acknowledgements~ the usual bunch of rogues: A and the great Phoenix queen_


	4. Chapter 4

_Note: The copies that Kirishima is going to give them contain the last TWO chapters (51 and 52) of Viewfinder. He did it that way because everyone complained about having to attend too many meetings._

_Present at this meeting: Asami, Akihito, Kuroda, Kirishima, Suoh, Sakazaki, Sudou, Fei Long, Yoh, and Mikhail.  
_

* * *

**A Hell of a Viewfinder Meeting**

**_. ._**

**. . . . .**

Kirishima enters the room. The men of Viewfinder are all sitting around the table.

"My... doesn't everyone looked refreshed and relaxed..." Kirishima begins to hand out the latest chapters of Viewfinder.

"Well," Fei Long glares at him, "when we aren't being dragged to this horrid meeting every two months, with barely ANY progress in the story... then yes, I'm feeling very refreshed!" Kirishima hands Fei Long his copy.

"I hope you and I are finally in it," Suoh says to Kirishima. "For all anyone knows, we're still setting off those damn fireworks..."

"You are not in it," Kirishima tells him as he hands him a copy.

"The hell with this..." Suoh throws his copy down. "Wait... you didn't say 'WE'. Are YOU in it?!"

Kirishima smiles and shrugs, "Maybe..."

Suoh growls and picks his copy back up.

"Please... PLEASE tell me this story actually moved forward!" Akihito pleads.

"Oh... it DEFINITELY moved..." Kirishima frowns as he hands Akihito a copy.

"I hope Akihito and I had a sex scene..." Asami says as he takes his copy. Mikhail makes a mock gagging noise. Asami glares at him.

"I hope ANYONE had sex..." Sakazaki says as he picks up his copy.

"I hope I didn't die..." Kuroda sighs as he's handed his copy. "And I hope THAT asshole..." he points at Sudou, "... DID!"

"There's nothing left for me, so I don't care," Sudou replies. "I'll just find another job. I wonder if Crimson Spell is hiring?"

"I could help you with that. Do you have an interest in tentacle sex?" Sakazaki asks, smiling lewdly at Sudou. "I don't know about Crimson Spell though... you could easily die of old age before you have the chance to advance very far."

"Why am I running around half-naked..." Asami says frowning at his copy, "while shooting at intruders in my own home?"

"WHAT?!" Akihito begins skimming through his copy furiously fast. "What the...? WHAT THE HELL?! We're being attacked... in our own home!"

Asami turns a page and chuckles. "You look adorable scampering around in your underwear with your little gun..."

"You need to take this seriously! A SWAT team just managed to get into your supposedly secure place! Honestly... what idiot buys a place where the LAST tenant was killed in a home invasion?" Akihito rolls his eyes.

"Don't worry... at the very worst, I'll have to fake another death scene," Asami reassures Akihito. "Look at the one I did at the beginning of the chapter... I did a good job, don't you think? You were thinking I was really dead, weren't you?"

"I'm thinking it's time for us to find a new place to live..." Akihito grumbles.

There are suddenly snickers all around the table.

"Nice frying pan action there, Akihito..." Kuroda says with a smile. "Such a girly weapon..."

Akihito turns red. "Hey, I had to think on my toes!"

"Wasn't the 'frying pan of doom' defense just used in one of those Disney princess movies?" Kirishima smirks.

"HA! Princess Akihito..." Suoh grins.

"Hey, it's NOT so girly! I'll have you know in 'Tangled' that guy Flynn... oh wait, his name was really Eugene... ALSO used a frying pan to defeat Maximus and three of his soldiers in a VERY manly... way..." Akihito's voice falters as he sees Asami looking at him strangely. "What...?"

"I'm to understand that YOU watch Disney princess movies?" Asami looks at Akihito incredulously.

"I w-was curious..." Akihito says in a meek voice. "I heard it was a good movie..."

"Heh..." Yoh chuckles softly from the corner of the room.

Akihito glares at Yoh. "You gonna to make fun of me too, Yoh?"

"I'm not laughing at that..." Yoh turns a page, reading intently. "I'm just enjoying how Mikhail's theory of the shooter being Yuri is rapidly falling apart..."

"You don't know that!" Mikhail yells, pointing at his copy. "Maybe that's... Yuri's son! And he's looking to avenge his father!"

"Uhh... the guy's name is Aaron," Yoh says. "Doesn't look or sound very Russian to me."

"Actually, Aaron is... uh... my foreign half-brother..." Mikhail replies. "Yes! That's it!"

Everyone around the table groans.

"Oh, just give it up Mikhail...!" Fei Long says exasperated.

"I'm going to show up sooner or later..." Mikhail scowls at Fei Long. "You just wait and see!"

"Say, Kirishima... is that YOU piloting the helicopter?" Suoh asks.

"I... THINK that's me..." Kirishima squints at his copy.

Suoh chuckles. "You're looking a little heavier than usual. You might wanna consider switching to 'light' beer."

"It's because I've been doing nothing but sitting around, waiting to appear in this story." Kirishima looks at Suoh's middle, "Besides, YOU'RE the one to talk..."

Suoh pats his stomach, looking defensive. "Hey...! I'll have you know this is all muscle."

"Aaron..." Akihito frowns. "Asami, does that name mean anything to you?"

Asami raises an eyebrow. "Well..."

"He's Ryuichi's former scorned lover..." Kuroda interrupts.

Akihito gasps. "Y-your former LOVER?!" He begins breathing rapidly in a panic.

Asami sighs. "Calm down, Akihito..." He ruffles Akihito's hair, trying to calm him. "Kuroda... I told you not to do that to him..."

"Sorry," Kuroda looks away with a slight grin on his face. "I couldn't resist."

"Oh, oh, oh... what do we have here?" Sakazaki pipes up with glee as he reads his copy. "Ahh Sudou... it looks like you're MY little puppy now...!" Sakazaki beams at Sudou.

"If you think I'm going to have sex with you just because you saved my life, you are TERRIBLY mistaken!" Sudou glares at Sakazaki. "So you can just wipe that stupid grin off your face!"

"No no..." says Sakazaki grinning even wider. "I'm happy because I can't WAIT to read all the inevitable Sakazaki/Sudou fanfiction that's going to come from this..."

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_Acknowledgements: the usual gang of superheroes- "A" and yellow fishie... something. Come on, wouldn't I make a great sidekick? ;)_


	5. Chapter 5

_Present at this meeting: Asami, Akihito, Mikhail, Sakazaki, Sudou, Kuroda, Kirishima, Suoh, Fei Long, Yoh, and ...? (Recap from Chapter 53)  
_

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**A Snappy Viewfinder Meeting**

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Kirishima walks in the room with a stack of papers. "Here we are... the latest chapter for your enjoyment..." He begins to hand them out, whistling happily as he does this task.

"You seem to be in a rather good mood..." Kuroda says as he watches him. "What's up with that?"

"Do I?" Kirishima replies smiling. "No reason. It's a nice day... don't you think the clouds look particularly fluffy today?"

"DAMN IT! That means he got a decent part this time around!" Suoh growls as he grabs his script. "What about me? Did I...?"

"You should just relax and enjoy your time off," Kirishima says, giving him a smug look. "Maybe read a book..."

Kirishima continues to pass out scripts. He pauses when he gets to Mikhail, giving him a long, hard look.

"REALLY...? Mikhail smiles as looks up hopefully at Kirishima. Kirishima sighs and hands him his script. Mikhail thumbs through it quickly and then yells triumphantly. "HA! I TOLD all of you I was going to be in this one!" He kisses his script loudly.

"You also said Yuri was going to be in it..." Yoh reminds him.

"Yes, yes... that's beside the point now..." Mikhail says as he begins to read his script enthusiastically.

Sakazaki is also reading through his script. "Not bad! Our parts are getting larger, Sudou."

"You mean YOUR part," Sudou snaps at him. "I already have a significant role, you... greasy gorilla!"

Sakazaki smiles at Sudou condescendingly. "Now, now... is THAT anyway to talk to your gallant rescuer? Your 'knight in shining armor'...?"

Sudou looks him up and down incredulously. "You're calling that thick body hair of yours... armor?"

Sakazaki pulls his shirt open a little wider and grins. "Sexy, isn't it?"

"Ugh!" Sudou looks away in disgust. "You only rescued me because you're hoping I'll suddenly become all sentimental about it and have sex with you."

"Is that the ONLY reason your conceited small mind can come up with?! I generally prefer someone who looks a little less like a peacock... but sure! If you're THAT willing..." Sakazaki leers lecherously at Sudou.

"AARGH!" Suoh growls as he reads his script. "There's even a major gunfight! I should be there! This is SO not fair..."

"At least you're not stuck in the hospital. Who knows when I'll get out?" Kuroda turns to Asami. "Somebody should come visit me... maybe bring me some flowers..."

"Kirishima, Akihito, and I are a little busy at the moment..." Asami says as he reads through his script. "However, Suoh's not doing anything right now, so maybe he can go visit you..."

Suoh groans in frustration.

Yoh finishes reading and puts his script down, looking puzzled. "So all this time, it was Mikhail and the Russian Mafia who were behind all of this... and it also seems Sakazaki and Mikhail are working together. The one thing I don't understand is why Sakazaki would go to the trouble of risking his life to save Sudou from one of their assassins, who was obviously ordered to take him out... only to deliver him alive directly to Mikhail..."

"Because OBVIOUSLY, Mikhail is not the mastermind behind all of this..." comes an unfamiliar voice from across the room. They all look up and see someone with a long scar on his face, leaning up against the door. "We are not the Russian Mafia, but rather—"

"Don't tell me..." Fei Long says, "The Mafia of Russia!"

"Splitters..." Mikhail grumbles under his breath.

"I don't want to say WHO we are... just yet..." the unknown man says, smiling evilly. "I'm Aaron, by the way. I'll be hanging around for the rest of this story arc..."

Everyone grumbles a "hello".

"It doesn't really matter to me who you are," Asami replies angrily. "Moving against me and mine WILL result in your total annihilation..."

"Really..." Aaron sneers at Asami. "You seem pretty handy with a gun... so then tell me WHY as I am threatening you and..." Aaron glances distastefully at Akihito, "...your property... a crack shot such as yourself, merely shoots the gun out of my hand instead of shooting me dead on the spot? Hmm...?"

"Because it was in the script," Asami growls in a low voice. "There's a good reason... trust me on that, otherwise I guarantee you'd be dead right now."

"You also only shot the gun out of his hand the OTHER time he tried to kill Akihito..." Fei Long adds.

Asami glares at Fei Long.

"I'm only stating the facts. Do you perhaps have some bizarre attraction to this new, wild-looking young assassin here?" Fei Long smirks. "Poor Akihito... he's welcome to come stay with me anytime..."

Asami turns to look at Akihito. "Akihito, don't listen to him—" but then he realizes Akihito is not listening at all, but glaring icily across the table at Kirishima.

Kirishima is glaring back at Akihito. "You should follow my orders and just get in the damn helicopter!"

"I refuse!" Akihito replies hotly.

Asami frowns at the two of them. "You BOTH should follow MY orders and get in the damn helicopter!"

"You know I'm perfectly capable of protecting Asami myself!" Akihito growls at Kirishima.

"And just EXACTLY how much experience do you have with firearms?" Kirishima growls back. "You stole my gun back in Hong Kong and shot it ONCE... and even still you barely grazed your opponent. Did you fire again to make sure you eliminated the threat or did you drop the gun and run away, leaving yourself open without any protection whatsoever?"

"But I DID hit him!"

Asami's eyes narrow as they flicker back and forth between Kirishima and Akihito. "Neither one of you is listening to me, are you?"

"First Sudou betrays you... then Kuroda mouths off to you, and now these two..." Mikhail goads Asami gleefully. "You've really been losing control of your subordinates lately, haven't you?"

Asami brings his hand up to his forehead and rubs it as if he's getting a headache.

"So, you've only fired a gun... ONCE," Kirishima continues. "That small squirt gun you're holding right now is only good at close range. Not only that, but you're woefully inexperienced! Your shots, using that 'pea shooter', from THAT distance could go wild. That's why I'm using a rifle with a scope... idiot!"

"Oh..." Akihito turns to Asami. "Why didn't you give me a better gun?"

Asami raises his eyebrows at Akihito. "Because I thought you would look cute and sexy running around in your underwear with a little .22 caliber pistol."

Asami turns his head away smiling, "... and I was right..."

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_Acknowledgements: the ornamental lemon-colored Monarch of the Far Corner of the Fish Tank... and as always, the Pythons._

__Previous chapter parodies not under this title: 1) "A Rare Viewfinder Meeting" [Pray in the Abyss- chapter 45, March 2014] and 2) "Another Rare Viewfinder Meeting" [Pray in the Abyss- chapter 46, May 2014] and 3) "A Hasty Viewfinder Meeting, Parts 1 &amp; 2" [Pray in the Abyss- Chapter 47, July 2014]  
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_Also related: "A Questionable Viewfinder Meeting" [Questions from readers- May 2014 &amp; July 2015]._

__The Viewfinder Series are the property of Yamane Ayano and Digital Manga Publishing. I claim exemption under the US Copyright "Fair Use" rule (Use in Parody) [17 U.S.C. § 107]__


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